Ø I speak twelve languages. English is the bestest.
Ø Men who don’t understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
Ø My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night saying, ‘Well that taught me a lesson’.
Ø Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.
Ø In Los Angeles they don’t throw out their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
Ø My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
Ø Until I was thirteen I thought my name was ‘Shutup’.
Ø The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his chest.
Ø The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things.
Ø I don’t suffer from stress. I’m a carrier.
Ø Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
Ø When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that’s a few steps ahead is the one that’s mad. Continue reading »
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